Hi! I am Leila.

In the past, I had a love/hate relationship with alcohol.

When I first started drinking, It made me feel free, fun, confident, and an active participant in festive, carefree group. It was a part of how I relaxed, had fun, and socialized….. It was just a part of college and young adult life….

It was fun … until it wasn't.

By the time I was in my 30's, I was stuck in a cycle of drinking wine almost every night and wasting way too much energy trying not to drink too much--monitoring how many glasses I would have, who we went out with…. if they drank a lot, I did not want to go. If they did not drink at all, I did not want to go.
What a waste of energy and time!

When I became a Mom, I had a deep desire to quit drinking, but it was very hard. Drinking was so woven into our larger social life and our circle of friends. I tried to quit but I felt isolated, anxious, and alone. I wondered … was I an alcoholic??? I didn’t drink during the day. Rarely had way too much to drink, never got a DUI, and was way too concerned about what people would think to let myself go . . . . yet I KNEW that I liked wine too much. It had too much power in my life…. otherwise why would it take up so much space in my head??

In my 40’s, I began a deep spiritual journey. I went on silent retreats. I facilitated spiritual growth groups and learned meditation. I had a deep longing for genuine connection and engagement that did not include alcohol. It was during this time that I had this kind of revelation. I had clarity that the Spirit, or the essence inside each of us that is meant to motivate us in life and truly express ourselves gets blocked by things like alcohol, false beliefs, negative attitudes, and stifling thoughts. 

I wanted alcohol out of my life and decided to go to AA. I quit drinking for 12 years. I finally found a group that felt comfortable. While that particular group and community was so connected and life-giving, I still felt shame that I needed that support and felt I needed to hide the fact I was going to AA because I didn't want people making assumptions about me that weren't true.

I felt like I was leading a double life. My secret life in AA and my sober life with my social drinking friends and family. Neither felt totally free, expansive or like it was moving me towards my purpose. After our children were grown and on their own I began drinking wine occasionally.

A year ago I was introduced to “The Naked Mind “ by Annie Grace. I was drawn to her perspectives and programs that allow people to become aware of why alcohol can have so much power…even if they do not think they have a major drinking problem. The work I do supports people in becoming empowered to make self-realized choices through raising awareness of the facts about alcohol and why it has come to have such a destructive impact on our culture, families and lives.